Boys will be Boys

Matt: We will be fine.
Spidey: Yeah, no need to worry about us.
FridayNext: But…
Matt: Honey, you’ll miss the bus.
FridayNext: I guess I should go. I mean, MumNext had a cow when I forgot Mother’s Day…
Spidey: We’ve packed you some lunch.
Matt: Should I walk you to the bus? I can kiss you goodbye before you get on the bus.
FridayNext: No! I prefer to go on my own.
Spidey: Or I can take you. Yeah, it’ll be a lot of fun to finally meet your mum.
FridayNext: I’m leaving! There’s some food in the fridge. See you tomorrow guys.
Matt: Kiss kiss!
FridayNext: *sending Matt a polite but distanced smile* Yeah. See you.

She’s out the door and the guys high five each other. Spidey leaves for the living room and turns on the telly, but Matt is frozen for a few seconds behind the closed front door, not really sure if it feels that okay that FridayNext left after all.

Spidey: *yelling to Matt in the hallway* Do we have any plans?
Matt: *answering on his way into the living room* Nope. The entire day at our own disposal.
Silence
Spidey: For some odd reason I’m bored already.
Matt: Ditto.
Spidey: So…
Matt: So…
Spidey: When we’re bored, we…
Matt: Usually drink too much.
Spidey: But we hang out with the guys while we do it.
Matt: Right!
Spidey: They better be in, all of them!

Obnoxious and loud ring tone from a cell phone. Ten times. A neighbour bangs on the wall.

Ace: *picking up his cell while coughing* Wha’?
Matt: Disgusting, bud.
Ace: Hey...
He stops the sentence he was beginning to form to cough some more and gulp in a lung full of air.
Ace: Whassup?
Matt: Your lungs?
Ace: Hilarious. What time is it?
Matt: Party time. Our place. ASAP.
Ace: Love to, but can’t.
Matt: Why not?
Ace: The floor is moving.
Matt: Oh.

Spidey keeps calling J-Man but he can’t connect. Then he dials Ken’s number.

Spidey: *in a husky voice* Can I web you?
Ken: Excuse me?! Oh, it’s you, Spidey. God, you sent me flash-backing into some nigthmarish scenario for a second!
Spidey: Yeah, you sounded freaked there for a sec, bud.
Ken: Was. So hanging out?
Spidey: Yup. On our own. Come over?
Ken: Sure.

Matt: Ace is too collapsed to come over.
Spidey: J-Man doesn’t pick up.
Matt: Ken?
Spidey: Coming.
Matt: Great.
Spidey: I have a plan.
Matt: Involving me?
Spidey: Nope. I won’t be long.
Matt: Right.

Scanning the street to be sure nobody sees him, then off he climbs. He peeks in through the window, and there he is. The window is closed so he taps it gently to get his attention. He doesn’t move a muscle. Spidey hates when people ignore him, so he taps harder – still no reaction. He knows only one solution…

Spidey: GERONIMOOOOOOOO!

He crushes the glass, swings through the window and noisily lands on the floor. He dusts off the glass. Then he taps J-Man on the shoulder.

J-Man: What…hey, Spidey. Did you just break my window?
Spidey: I knocked and knocked but you didn’t hear me!
J-Man: Headphones. Music. Didn’t you see the turntables?
Spidey: The question is: is there anything but turntables in your flat?
J-Man: Oh.
Spidey: Why are you wearing a tie?
J-Man: I am?
Spidey: Look at you.
J-Man: Oh. I thought I had forgotten it.
Spidey: What?
J-Man: Okay.

Spidey expects a follow up explanation but J-Man gets up from the floor from the turntables and walks out of the room. Calmly and apparently without a care in the world. He comes back with a dustpan.

J-Man: I need a new window.
Spidey: I’m sorry.
J-Man: Okay.
Spidey: Okay?

J-Man leaves the room with the dustpan filled with glass. Spidey follows him into the kitchen.

Spidey: We’re hanging out today.
J-Man: Are we?
Spidey: Yeah. Need to get Ace.
J-Man: Is he home?
Spidey: His floor is moving. We need to rescue him.

J-Man smiles and takes off his tie. Spidey waits for another reaction but J-Man goes to the bathroom.

SpideyCellPhone: J-Man’s a bit out of whack today.
MattCellPhone: Must’ve been hanging out with Ace.
SpideyCellPhone: Of course! Ken’s arrived?
MattCellPhone: Yeah, we’re hanging out in the sunshine on the balcony.
KenCellPhone: Pick up some crisps on your way home, bud.
SpideyCellPhone: Sure thing.

So while J-Man does…whatever…in the bathroom, Spidey packs a bag with clothes, records and a turntable. He calls a taxi and when J-Man finally makes his entrance to the secular world again, Spidey grabs his right arm and forces him out the door.

Spidey: So now we pick up Ace and some crisps.
J-Man: I think I forgot my tie.
Spidey: Why do you need a tie?
J-Man: Dunno. Just in case.
Spidey: You’re not making a lot of sense today.
J-Man: Thanks.

Now the doorbell rings continuously and the neighbour is about to throw a fit.

Neighbour: *screaming* Open the freakin’ door!!!
Ace: *opens the door* No. No no no. I can’t. Not today. I’m coming down with something. I’m close to dying. And see, the floor is still moving. Hey, is that you, J? Where’s your tie?
J-Man: I think I forgot it.
Spidey: Enough with the tie! Ace, pack a bag and move it.
Ace: Brutal.
J-Man: He smashed one of my windows.
Ace: So brutal. Right…a bag, you say. Where am I going? Do I need casual wear or...
Spidey: Matt and Ken are already waiting! I’ll pack for you. Let me through!
J-Man: He packed my stuff as well.
Ace: Anything good?
J-Man: Music and turntable.
Ace: Nice.
J-Man: Sweet.
Ace: Clothes?
J-Man: I think so. But no toothbrush.
Ace: Awww!
J-Man: Right.
Ace: Remember my toothbrush!
Spidey: What the heck did you do last night since you’re both so wasted?!
Silence
Spidey: Okay, don’t tell me then.

More to come soon...