Sunday

Spidey: Listen!
Matt: What?
Spidey: Silence.

The front door is slammed shut and noise from the hallway permeates the entire flat. Cussing and moans are heard. Spidey sighs and closes his eyes. Matt looks toward the living room door.

FridayNext: Matt! Matty! Honey!

Spidey: And we’re back to the yelling.
Matt: In here, hon.
FridayNext: Oi! Matt! Come here! I want sexual intercourse now! Stat!

Spidey’s face turns white and numerous ticks overtake his entire body. Matt looks surprised and slightly bewildered. He blinks uncontrollably and gawks at Spidey who avoids all eye contact.

Matt: Hon?
FridayNext: I’m so pumped! I feel great! I have the energy of a 20 year old whatever! Come on, stud. It’s now or never!

She barges into the living room and reaches out to Matt in the armchair. She even takes a couple of dance steps to show off her wobbly bottom. It’s almost the penguin dance. She smiles and her eyes shines as if drugged.

FridayNext: Come here, you sexy man, you. I want to snog you!
Matt: Oh…well...
Spidey: Fri, we have company.

She looks to her right and sees Ken sitting in the sofa. Embarrassment flies in at the speed of Mach 900.

FridayNext: Oh. Hello.
Ken: Hello.
FridayNext: Well…
Ken: I really should be going…
FridayNext: No, no need to. I have to go back…to the gym…anyway…
Ken: No, really, I have so much stuff I need to do…
FridayNext: I left my…arms…there. I have to fetch them before they close for the day.
Spidey: Arms?
FridayNext: So...ahm…see you guys later.
Matt: Honey…
Ken: Really, you shouldn’t…

She rushes out the front door, forgets her key and mental stability in the flat.

Spidey: Luckily that wasn’t awkward at all!
Ken: I shouldn’t have dropped by.
Matt: Don’t worry about it.
Spidey: I’ll go see what she’s up to. Hopefully she’s not legless as well as armless.

There’s no sign of her outside the gym. Spidey scouts for her bike but it’s nowhere to be seen. She left without her purse and it’s too windy to bike for long so her range is limited. He cups his hands on one of the windows to the gym and looks in. He repeats this several times at each window. Still no sign of her.

BigBloke1: Hey! What are you doing?
Spidey: Looking for a friend of mine.

The big bloke doesn’t seem to like the answer. He leaves the front door to the gym and waddles over to Spidey who’s clueless to what is going to happen.

BigBloke1: We don’t like snoops.
Spidey: Not snooping. Just checking out if my friend is at the gym.
BigBloke1: I have seen you at the windows before.
Spidey: I was checking out my friend. How she got along with the machines.
BigBloke1: I don’t like your replies.
Spidey: I’m sorry about that, but it’s the truth.
BigBloke1: I think you’re snooping.
Spidey: Think what you like, but I know the truth.
BigBloke1: Right.

Having had a good cry and a panic attack simultaneously in the gym’s toilet, FridayNext leaves the gym to embark on the walk of shame home. She nearly stumbles over Spidey who’s going in circles in the parking lot.

FridayNext: Hey Spidey. What’s up?
Spidey: Not much.
FridayNext: Oh my god! You are bleeding from the nose and your left eye is swollen and red!
Spidey: Oh, I stumbled over something on my way over here.
FridayNext: Are you alright?
Spidey: I’m fine. Wanna go home?
FridayNext: No, but I will anyway.
Spidey: Right. Let’s go. Before more parts of me haemorrhage.
FridayNext: My arms hurt.
Spidey: Really? I’m sorry. Are you in a lot of pain?
FridayNext: Yeah.
Spidey: Good.

She giggles and puts her right arm inside his left and leads them homewards.

FridayNext: There’s a room where mostly men lift weights.
Spidey: Mmm.
FridayNext: Today there were men there again.
Spidey: Mmm.
FridayNext: The other day, when I worked on one of the machines close to the room…
Spidey: Mmm.
FridayNext: There was a man.
Spidey: Mmm.
Silence
FridayNext: He lifted weights with a friend.
Spidey: Mmm.
FridayNext: His legs were muscle-less.
Spidey: Your point?
FridayNext: He had a great chest.
Spidey: Okay.
FridayNext: He’s young.
Spidey: Mmm.
FridayNext: He looks like J-Man.
Spidey: Oh God.
FridayNext: I know! Isn’t it amazing?! Today he was at the gym without his friend.
Spidey: You didn’t chat him up, did you?
FridayNext: No. I’m not gonna chat up anybody for a while.
Spidey: Well, perhaps it’ll do you good to take a break.
FridayNext: I miss Uni.
Spidey: We all do.
FridayNext: I miss J-Man.
Spidey: Mmm.
FridayNext: You’re never gonna tell me where he lives?
Spidey: Nope.
FridayNext: I wouldn’t stalk him at home, you know.
Spidey: Well, then you don’t need his address.
FridayNext: Right. But he’s nice.
Spidey: Mmm.
FridayNext: Adorable, really.
Spidey: Whatever.
FridayNext: And sexy!
Spidey: You need to shut up now before I gag.
FridayNext: Okay.
Spidey: I’m hungry.
FridayNext: I can cook us pancakes.
Spidey: Great!
FridayNext: If Ken has left…
Spidey: I’m sure he has. He’s a good man.
FridayNext: Don’t rub it in.
Spidey: Sorry.