Staying In

Ace: We’re lost!
J-Man: How can we be lost? We just got off the train.
Ace: I have never been here before. What kind of place is this?
J-Man: It’s called the suburbs, A.
Ace: I can barely breathe.
J-Man: Relax. I’ll guide you. I grew up in the countryside.
Ace: Amazing you turned out okay.
J-Man: Mr Big Banana.
Ace: Shut up!
J-Man: I’ll call Spidey for directions.

Matt: Hey! You’re here!
Ken: Sure. Told an underling to close up for me.
Matt: You’re powerful.
Ken: God yeah!
Spidey: Did you bring food?
Ken: Not real food.
Spidey: What?
Ken: Crap food. Stuff you love.
Spidey: Pizza, burgers, falafels – I believe I’m in love.
Silence
Spidey: For Chrissakes I’m turning into Friday!
Matt: You’re kinda embarrassing.
Ken: You’re a girl.
Spidey: Hey! Stop calling me names or I’ll web you!
Ken: *in a pretend meek voice* Oh no, please don’t.
Matt: *laughing out loud* Oh my god, I think we’ve found Ken’s Achilles’ heel. He loves your web.
Ken: No. No. Please don’t web me. It’ll be awful. I simply don’t know what to do if you web me…
Spidey: Shut up! You’re creeping me out!
Ken & Matt laugh in UniSon and high five each other.

J-Man: Oh…
Ace: I knew it!
J-Man: Chill, A.
Ace: Are we there yet? We’ve been walking for ever.
J-Man: Or at least fifteen minutes. According to Spidey it should be here.
Ace: They live HERE?
J-Man: Apparently.
Ace: It’s halfway in the countryside and then in a high-rise. This is the ugliest building I’ve ever seen.
J-Man: There’ll be food and flexi-trax.
Ace: Lead on!

UniCorn: It had nothing to do with you, I’m sure of that.
FridayNext: I know that’s not true. They fled like whatever. The moment they saw me, they couldn’t get out of the reception soon enough.
UniCorn: You’re overreacting, hon.
FridayNext: Oh am I? Did you see the look on J-Man’s face when I accidentally stroked his arm? Did you?
UniCorn: You kinda clawed him and wouldn’t let go.
FridayNext: No I didn’t!
UniCorn: Alright.
FridayNext: I didn’t mean to.
UniCorn: I know.
FridayNext: Stupid…stupid…stupid!
UniCorn: But you talked to a lot of people. Almost everybody came over to you and wanted to speak to you.
FridayNext: But they left! They left, Uni! Left!
UniCorn: Okaaaay, you’re repeating yourself a bit here.
FridayNext: Oh I’m sorry. Am I boring you? Like I bored the living daylights out of the GraphicDesignBoys? Ah?
UniCorn: Your voice is hitting only shrill notes…
FridayNext: It’s so unfair! I got stuck with ObnoxiousMenNumerous and all I wanted to do was spend some quality time with J-Man and Ace. I could have groped them both. In stereo.

A cell phone conversation:

Spidey: Whatsup?
UniCorn: Not Fri’s good humoured self, I can tell you that.
Spidey: What?
UniCorn: The reception was a bust.
Spidey: Reception?
UniCorn: At work.
Spidey: Huh?
UniCorn: She’s been looking forward to the reception for a month because Ace and J-Man were invited and they left within a nanosecond.
Spidey: When?
UniCorn: Today! Where’s your head?!
Spidey: There was a reception at work today?
UniCorn: Spidey!
Spidey: Matt and I are playing with flexi-trax. Sorry.
Ken: You are so out, Matt! I win! Flip me a slice, loser!
UniCorn: What’s that noise?
Spidey: Nothing. Matt has the telly on.
UniCorn: Anyway. I’ll suggest that we go out and eat on our way home. Perhaps that’ll calm her down. I just wanted to ask if you guys wanna come.
Ace: In your freakin’ face, Ken! Blood or no blood on the trax! Who’s the loser now? Huh?!
Spidey: Oh we have already eaten. We didn’t know. She said we shouldn’t wait up for her. So we ate. Already. Ha ha ha.
UniCorn: You’re weird tonight. I’ll take her out.
Spidey: Call me when you’re heading home, okay?
UniCorn: Yeah. It’ll be nice if you could surprise her when she comes home.
Spidey: Oh we can surprise her no end. Just call, okay? In time for us to clean…come up with a surprise.
UniCorn: Okay. Let me talk to Matt!
Spidey: Sorry, he’s too busy at the moment.
Matt: If you stomp on my car one more time, I’ll kick your scrawny butt, J-Man!
J-Man: Oh, is this your car? THIS one? Ohhhhhhhh, I accidentally touched it with my foot. Oh no, what to do now…
Matt: That’s it! I’m gonna…
Spidey: Gotta go. Bye!

UniCorn: Cheer up, sweetie. You love Chinese.
FridayNext: Yeah…
UniCorn: Come on. We’ll hit the buffet and eat only fried food!
FridayNext: Okay…
UniCorn: Stop moping, please. You’re sucking the fun out of the food.
FridayNext: Sorry!

Spidey: I’m the champion! I’m unbeatable!
J-Man: Only because you cheat!
Spidey: Touchy, J-Man.
Matt: Throw me a falafel.
Ace: Here! Oh no! It landed behind the telly.
Matt: Hit me again.
Ace: Here…
J-Man: Oh my god, you’re lame at throwing. Let me try.
Ken: Behind the sofa.
Matt: You’re nowhere near the armchair where I am. Try again!
Ken: Here – open your mouth and let me see if I can…
Matt: Just throw it and I’ll catch it with my hand. It’s too big to go into my mouth.
Silence
Spidey: Oh my god.
Ace: *giggles* Mr Big Banana.
Ken: I’m gonna puke now!
J-Man: But it’s just food.
Matt: What’s wrong with us?!
Spidey: By the way…where were you when I called you, Ace?
J-Man: I still have marks on my arm…wanna see?
Ace: We were at a reception. Business.
J-Man: Look. You can see the outlines of finger nails if you look closely.
Ken: Ouch. Gotta hurt.
J-Man: I was more surprised than hurt.
Ken: Who did it?
Ace: A business partner.
Ken: Stay away from that partner, dude.
Ace: The stories we could tell.
J-Man: She’s alright. She’s just…a bit…different. She’s really professional.
Ace: Sometimes.
J-Man: Sometimes. Most of the time. Well, sometimes.
Ace: She built a look-alike snowman of you, J!
Ken: *snorting falafel out of his nose* What?!
Ace: One day we come to work and this snowman is on our front steps. It has J’s torso and face. And it’s anatomically correct. Well done.
Spidey: Well hung.
Silence
Spidey: Please knock me out!
Matt: Love to but…but…oh! Oh oh oh!
Spidey: Yup. I really need your help in the kitchen, Matt.
Ken: What the hell is wrong with you guys?
Matt: Plates! We’ve been eating without plates. Oh my god, what were we thinking! Back in a flash!
Ace: And we’re supposed to be the gay ones?
J-Man: We should put some music on. Wonder what kind of music they listen to.
Ken: Not Cliff Richard I bet.
J-Man: Sad. Everybody should have Cliff in their collection.

Matt: You called Ace while they were at the reception!
Spidey: I forgot about the reception!
Matt: She’s gonna kill us! As if it’s not bad enough that our new best friends are her major crushes, now we have ruined her reception as well!
Spidey: Imagine if she knew they are all here, in her flat. Two seconds away from her bedroom.
Silence
Matt: She’ll kill me if she ever finds out!
Spidey: I won’t exactly win the best friend award either.
Matt: Okay, we need to get the guys out of the flat before she comes home.
Spidey: Uni has taken her out to dinner.
Matt: Great. That’ll give us some time.
Spidey: Apparently Ace and J-Man haven’t noticed whose flat they’re in.
Matt: They must never know!
Spidey: My lips are sealed.
Matt: I wish they were. You’ve been rambling all night.
Spidey: I know! It’s like I’ve taken over Fri’s sense of humour.
Matt: Better leave it here in the kitchen. Let’s play with the guys and then out they go.
Spidey: Alright!
Matt: I can’t believe I just said that!