In Between Days

It’s rush hour in every supermarket. It has been for a couple of days now. I’ve stayed in; the boys have been forced to go shopping if we needed anything. I hate this time of year. To keep my monster size depression company, it’s raining heavily today. I had planned to take my bike for a stroll. I didn’t bother yesterday. Yesterday I stayed in bed almost the entire day. My back hurts. My hips hurt. I need to get out of the flat today.

Spidey: You suck!
Matt: Shut up!
Spidey: I’m gonna win again. Why bother?
Matt: You can’t win all the time!
Spidey: Stop whining.

The boys went over the moon when they got their Christmas present. They’ve been arguing about it since. I’m not sure if the present was such a good idea. But at least they seem to enjoy themselves despite the occasional fall out and frumpy attitudes.

FLASHBACK
After dinner we exchange presents. The boys are not as eager to exchange presents as I had assumed they would be. I decide to give Uni her present first.

Spidey: Just remember, it’s not the gift itself – it’s the thought that counts.
Matt: Yeah, so no matter what’s inside, it’s all about the time that was spent on it. Thinking of you.
FridayNext: What the hell are you talking about? Open it, Uni!
UniCorn: Alright alright alright!
Spidey: You shouldn’t ruin the gift wrap. It’s beautiful.
Matt: Perhaps if you unwrap it slowly, we can recycle it next year.
FridayNext & UniCorn in UniSon: *look at them in disbelief*
UniCorn: Is this a gag gift?
Spidey: Uhm…
FridayNext: No it isn’t. Shut up, Spidey.
UniCorn: Okay, I’ll go for the mayhem version of unwrapping…

And she does. Bows and ribbons are found everywhere in the flat afterwards, and tonnes of creased and torn wrapped paper. Then the present appears, and I look at her very closely. This is the most special gift I’ve ever given and I’m not sure if she’ll like it. The boys sigh – I’m not sure why. She looks at it, takes it in her hand and then she stares at me – and I go all gooey and am convinced that this is surely the worst present ever – and then she goes whee and screams and laughs and giggles.

Matt: What?
Spidey: Don’t tell us that you’re actually happy to get a homemade present?
UniCorn: Oh Fri! It’s brilliant! I love it. I love it!
FridayNext: Oh? It’s nothing…
Spidey: Damn right!
FridayNext: Really nothing. It didn’t take long to make…
Matt: Self-explanatory.
UniCorn: Shut up! I love it! It’s not for you and since you’re so cruel to Fri, you can go and make us all some drinks.
FridayNext: So you like it?
UniCorn: I love it! You wrote my thesis!
FridayNext: Yeah. Well, perhaps you shouldn’t hand it in…
UniCorn: Five pages of hilarity. And honey, I’ve seen what you put on pages 3 and 4.
FridayNext: I just thought you could do with some eye candy.
UniCorn: Woof indeed!

PRESENT
Today I will force nature and go out. The best thing during Christmas was when I cleaned my bike, on my own, without any help. Before that I fed the ducks at the nearby pond. I knew already that I was headed for Depressionville so I wanted to cram as much fun into the days before darkness came a-knocking.

I’ve taken a shower, done the dishes from Christmas and even put on some clothes. No jim-jams today, real “get-out-of-the-flat” clothes. It takes all my energy to focus on going out. Where should I go, will it rain too heavily for me to take the bike – or even worse: will the wind knock me over no matter whether I take my bike or decide to walk?

Matt: NOOOOO!
Spidey: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!

I look down and see that I’ve stomped into their track and have accidentally ruined part of it. Shit, they are not looking too happy about this.

FLASHBACK
I have to beg the boys to open my present. I don’t understand why they are not keen on seeing what I’ve bought them. They’re usually unstoppable when I bring them stuff from the supermarket. But tonight they are in no hurry to open the present. It’s a big one and I’ve told them that they must share it. They didn’t mind. It’s not at all what I expected. I thought they would argue whose present it was and one of them would get webbed big time. But they get along just fine.

UniCorn: Come on! Take the damn paper off so we can see what it is!

Patient as ever, Uni tries to coax the boys, but they are relentless. They take forever to unwrap the gift and it gets to me that perhaps they have found out about the present and it’s not what they have been wanting at all. This is surely a case of cold feet if ever there was one.

Matt: Final piece of paper.
Spidey: Yeah. Ready?
Matt: No. I mean, okay.

They remove the paper and see the box. They look at each other, then at the box. Then they look at me, then they look at each other.

UniCorn: What the freaking hell is wrong with you guys?

Always one for breaking the ice, Uni crawls down on the floor and looks at the box. She giggles and starts to open the box.

Spidey: Goaway!
Matt: You already got your present. Goaway!

And suddenly they turn into the boys again and rip open the box and believe it or not, they scream and giggle even more than Uni and I do at times.

Matt: My god!
Spidey: Exactly!
Matt: How many cars?
Spidey: FOUR!
Matt: FOUR?
Spidey: Goddammit!
Matt: Will it go all the way to the kitchen?
FridayNext: Yes it will and back again. It’ll be a long freaking track.
Spidey: Alright!
Matt: The best ever!

It took out a huge chunk of my pay check but it’s been worth it to see them happy.

PRESENT
And now I’ve put my foot in it and they are not at all happy.

FridayNext: I’m sorry.
Spidey: Move your foot!
FridayNext: I’m so sorry!
Spidey: Look, move! You’re just standing there!
FridayNext: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry!
Matt: Lift your foot, hon.
FridayNext: Sorry!

Matt lifts my foot and I lose my balance and keel over, fortunately into the wall and not onto the track so I limit the damages. My head hurts, though.

Spidey: Ouch.
Matt: Hon, how many fingers?
FridayNext: Four hands and a thumb.
Spidey: Well, she sounds alright.
FridayNext: I need to get out.
Matt: I think you should stay in. That was a pretty hard knock.
FridayNext: I’ll get my coat. What is this?
Spidey: Oh god, you’re bleeding on the track now! Move!
Matt: We should go and have that checked, sweetie.
FridayNext: I’m alright. I’ll just put on a band aid. I need to get out of the flat today.