So it snowed yesterday and it was amazing and beautiful and lovely and after days off work, I had loads of emails to concentrate on. I was at work well before 7.30 am because I’m just that anal retentive. And I looked out of the window and watched the snow and then I focused on my screen and saw an email from J-Man.
J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man J-Man
Some people know him as
DJ-Man DJ-Man DJ-Man DJ-Man DJ-Man DJ-Man DJ-Man DJ-Man DJ-Man DJ-Man
DJ-Man DJ-Man DJ-Man DJ-Man DJ-Man DJ-Man DJ-Man DJ-Man DJ-Man DJ-Man
Some lucky person probably knows him as
Honey darling sweetheart sweetness sweetie lover okay this is too painful!
As usual he was very sincere and quiet and goddammit so not into me! I replied and apologised for not getting back to him earlier – and then it hit me! How can you put a smile on a business partner’s lips without losing his respect? I didn’t stop and contemplate the possible aftermath of my coming doings. Instead I put on my coat and ran to the metro.
From my early impromptu visit I now knew exactly where the office was so I practically ran to get there in time. It had to be over and done with before he came to work. Still haven’t figured out when he comes in. Probably later than me; surely later than me. At least he never emails me before 10. Sometimes 11 or 12. Some days never. Does that mean that he’s not in the office?
It came back to me the minute I bent down and put together a snowball. Oh the fun times as a kid… But afraid of running short of time (and breath) I worked hard on the snowball so it turned into the first ball for a snowman. Oh it looked great! Pedestrians smiled and/or frowned. I couldn’t tell which. They were mostly covered up in hats and hoods and scarves. I didn’t care. I pushed another snowball into a huge torso and accidentally knocked off some pedestrians from the pavement, but then you are bound to lose some personnel during a battle, aren’t you? And then the head.
I’ve never been good at arts and handicraft, but I put all my efforts and energy and lack of talent into this project and I was quite happy with the result in the end. Standing there in front of the big beautiful snowman made me realise how special I am. Indeed, who would ever make such a gesture for a business partner except for me?
Wet and cold from the snow, I took my running nose and went back to work on the metro. And then I waited in my warm office. And waited…
Ace: What the fuck…
J-Man: I know.
Ace: How did you get in?
J-Man: I had to squeeze past it.
Ace: Kids! Why build a snowman right on our doorstep?
J-Man: It’ll melt soon.
Ace: Yeah. Did you see?
J-Man: What?
Ace: It’s anatomically correct.
J-Man: What do you mean?
Ace walks to the window and waves over J-Man. He points down to the snowman.
J-Man: Oh!
Ace: *giggles* Yeah, massive!
J-Man: Kids.
J-Man returns to his desk and sits down in front of his new Mac, he’s still in love with. Ace lingers at the window while he takes off his coat. He squints and then looks at J-Man.
Ace: Y’know…
J-Man: Mmm?
Ace: There’s something about that snowman…
J-Man: Would it be okay if I put on some music? I need summery music when it’s this cold outside.
Ace: Sure.
Silence
Ace: It looks like you, J.
J-Man: What does?
Ace: The snowman.
J-Man: *mumbling to himself* I can’t find the cd. Didn’t I put it in my jacket when I left this morning?
Ace: Okay, it’s freaking me out now. You need to come over and see. Perhaps it’s just me.
J-Man: Darn, I forgot the cd! Do you have any music on your computer we can listen to?
Ace: Sure. But come on over and see the snowman before it melts!
They both stand by the window and turn their heads to the left, then to the right, then to the left and back to centre.
Ace: It’s spooky.
J-Man: I really can’t see it, A.
Ace: Look, the forehead. The nose. Your mouth, it’s all there! And the upper body…that’s not kids’ work.
J-Man: Well, how about that music?
Ace: It’s a message to you, J.
J-Man: *giggles* And what does it say?
Ace: It says: ‘I’m cuckoo and beyond rescue.’
J-Man: Me or the person who built it?
Ace: *frowns and keeps looking at the snowman* Who do we know that would do such a thing?
J-Man: If you’re too busy to turn on your computer, I can do it for you? I would really appreciate some music now.
Ace: We both know the answer.
J-Man: Hey, I didn’t know you had so much music on your disk. You surprise me, A!
Ace: Could it be Friday?
J-Man: What about her?
Ace: Does she ever write you…emails?
J-Man: Sure she does.
Ace: I mean…emails!
J-Man: Sure she does!
They both giggle and Ace hangs his coat and goes to his desk. A classic from the summer chart wells out of his computer and J-Man sits by his Mac again and begins the projects of the day.
…And waited. Nothing. Absolutely freakin’ nothing. That’s how appreciative GraphicDesignBoy is. So of course I got pissed and returned to my tasks and pretended to forget all about him. At least for some time.
But it made me think about the difference between me and everybody else. What I do and others don’t.
When J-Man gets upset…does he ever get upset? Does he ever lose his footing?
I doubt that he
- ends up in the local supermarket with a basket full of bad food if he’s heartbroken
- has ever been heartbroken
- falls in love with Ken’s female counterpart
- falls in love with a business partner and/or co-worker
- has ever stalked somebody
- ever gets so mad at somebody that he wants the person exterminated
- feels let down now and again
- feeds the duck in the park
- obsesses over a jigsaw puzzle
- chats up the local taxi booker
Somehow I don’t see him living with an imaginary boyfriend and a playmate, either. At least my bike and UniCorn are real. Real real real.
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