How many loops can you take before you hurl? The answer is: six. Uni and I went to an amusement park the other day and a normal ride has three loops but we were treated to an extra turn and thus looped six times within two minutes. It was a lot of fun being turned upside down although I kept my eyes shut most of the time.
Spidey: How come you don’t think it’s funny when I do it?
FridayNext: Lack of harness and precautions!
Matt: Ha ha, she got you there!
Spidey: Moving on…
Another rollercoaster ride got my attention when one of the staff high fived me every time we drove past him. Counting backwards, it must have been eight times or so. I held out my arm, waved my gloved hand in the air and he high fived me.
FridayNext: He high fived me!
UniCorn: AAAAAHHHHHHH!
FridayNext: Oh, downhill….AAAHHHH!
UniCorn: He high fived you?
FridayNext: He high fived me!
UniCorn: Oh my gawd!
FridayNext: Indeed!
UniCorn: Kickin’.
FridayNext: AAAHHH!
UniCorn: AAAHHH!
FridayNext: Will he do it again?
UniCorn: Try.
FridayNext: He high fived me again!
UniCorn: WWWHHHHEEEEEEE!
FridayNext: OOOOOHHHHHHHHH!
UniCorn: That was sweet of him!
FridayNext: He’s great. I love him.
UniCorn: He’s only 14, Fri!
FridayNext: Noooo! AAAAAHHHHH!
UniCorn: WWWHHHHEEEEE!
FridayNext: You gotta be 16 to work this kind of ride.
UniCorn: So?
FridayNext: So that works for me.
In UniSon: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
The intellectual pinnacle of the evening was when Uni realised a flaw in the fight against terrorism.
UniCorn: You can always poop and then use the sharp turd against the captain.
FridayNext: Sharp turd?
UniCorn: Yeah. I have a sharp turd and I’m not afraid to use it.
FridayNext: *giggling and snorting simultaneously*
Matt: I very much doubt Uni would say a thing like that.
Spidey: A turd cannot be sharp.
FridayNext: Oh Sherlock! That’s why it’s so funny!
Matt: Show us the seagull!
Right, I saw a seagull the other day when I copied the guest speaker and went to the local pond to feed the ducks. There were barely any ducks there, but there were gulls all over the place. I took pictures of them all. One of them stood on one leg and that was kind of fun. Then it spread out its wings and flew and…oh my gawd, it only had one leg! So that birdie is now in my scrap book for being the coolest birdie ever.
Spidey: Well, I’m bored…
FridayNext: No, you’re not!
Matt: If you’re bored, you can help with the jigsaw puzzle.
Spidey: How lame do you think I am?!
Spidey: It’s like the decoration on the front door. What is that all about?
FridayNext: People feel good when they see something green.
Spidey: The entire door is green. You’re green. Everything in the flat is green. Enough with the green already!
Spidey looks at me directly. I should not have told him my secret. I haven’t told Matt. The other day I went to the supermarket. I had been out biking for two hours and I went home to change before I went to the supermarket. Well, my hair was a mess and I didn’t have on any makeup. Basically I was too sweaty to enter a supermarket even for my taste and I needed to return 50 empty bottles for cash because I’m that low on money this month. So ruffled hair and white as a maggot I went inside and steered for the bottle machine thingy (sorry about the technical terms) and fed it all my empty cola bottles.
Who comes out (!) of the door and zooms past me? He orders one of the girls to do something. He doesn’t bark or yell, just tells her in a firm voice. Firm… I manage to focus on the machine so it doesn’t spew and then I waddle up and down the various aisles until… He is putting heavy groceries on shelves. Top shelves. He stretches. Oh my gawd! He’s lean alright. And no bum.
Spidey: So he’s bottomless?
FridayNext: Rather that than crotch less.
Silence
In UniSon: Disgusting!
I know there’s a goofy smile on my face. I walk past him and try gawking as little as possible. He doesn’t notice me. I contemplate whether I should walk down that aisle again and again and again and again… It would of course make better sense if I could ever build up the nerve to say hi. But I’m afraid he would just look at me as if I were from a different planet and if he decided to say something to me it would be something like: fuck off, woman!
Spidey: You like men that are so not worthy of your interest.
FridayNext: He looks great.
Spidey: Would he ever bring you toast in bed?
FridayNext: Look, you did that only once and you ate most of it yourself.
Spidey: Whatever.
So, small things in life can make a difference. It was great seeing Ken. Wish he’d notice me but at least it’s a treat to see him now and again. I loved the amusement park, but then I’m a sucker for Uni any day.
Matt: Honey?
FridayNext: Yeah?
Matt: How about a bike ride?
FridayNext: Now?
Matt: Yeah. I want to show you something.
So we go downstairs and…
FridayNext: It’s my bike!
Matt: It is.
FridayNext: It’s clean!
Matt: It is.
FridayNext: You’ve cleaned it!
Matt: That’s right.
FridayNext: Ohhhhhh Matt!
Spidey: Ooooooohhhh puke!
How could I forget to include my bike on the list of small things in life that make me happy? I love it. I love it more than…than…over and out.
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