A Day Like Any

UniCorn has a day off from the office. She’s supposed to be busy with research for her thesis but she’s been restless since she got out of bed this morning. It’s already 10 am and she’s had breakfast, taken a shower and even cleaned up after ChessBoy’s impromptu “I need porridge at 3 am and am a bit clueless as to how to work the micro thingy”. ChessBoy is fast asleep. Still. He probably won’t get up this side of noon. So what to do…

FridayNext is working her tail off at the office. TheBoss keeps moaning and complaining. It’s either about this or that. She tries to tune him out but without luck. The new offices are in a campus area which means that there are students everywhere. Apparently it’s mandatory to be blonde, busty and tanned to get into this school if you’re a woman. And tall, buffed and loud if you’re a man. Does this go for all business schools worldwide? After having shown directions to the admission office, the lavatories and the canteen (in that order), FridayNext is a bit fed up with students.

Knock knock knock knock
Matt: *yelling from under the covers* SPIDEY!
Knock knock knock knock
Matt: *whimpering* I want to sleep!
Knock knock knock knock
Spidey: Stop knocking!
Knock knock knock knock
Spidey: *opening the front door* If you knock one more time…
UniCorn is about to knock one more time, then she switches on her goofy smile.
UniCorn: *purring voice* Hi Spidey
And out come her octopus arms and he’s engulfed for a few seconds. He sighs. Counts the seconds. Accepts his fate. For now.
Spidey: Hi Uni. Why aren’t you at work?
UniCorn: *pushing forward* Day off. Can I come in?
Spidey: Matt, Uni is here.
Matt: *sighs from under his breath, gets out of bed and puts on his clothes* Right.
UniCorn: Hi Matt! Oh! Sorry! I didn’t know you weren’t dressed yet.
She doesn’t move but keeps her eyes focused on him while he puts on his jeans and shirt. Once again that goofy smile all over her face.
Spidey: Did you happen to bring breakfast?
UniCorn: Are you insane? Matt, is that a new shirt?
Matt: This one? Dunno.
Spidey: We’re hungry, Uni.
UniCorn: Make some breakfast, then. It looks good with those jeans.
Spidey: *under his breath* Leave him alone.
UniCorn: Sorry? Did you say anything of importance?
Spidey: Breakfast. I need carbs. I want rolls, bread, the whiter the better.
UniCorn: You won’t find that stuff in Fri’s cupboards!
Spidey: I know! So go get us some.
UniCorn: *giving him the evil eye* Excuse me?
Matt: I’ll go…
Spidey: Great. Thanks bud.
UniCorn: I’ll come with you!
Spidey: Unbelievable!
UniCorn: What are you on about?
Spidey: *chickens out* The news. Did you hear about…
Matt: Right, let’s go then.
UniCorn: *sends Spidey a warning look* See you soon.

The big hand is not moving at all. It’s been stuck at 5 for at least two hours now! FridayNext is convinced that the clock will be 11.05 forever. It’ll never be lunchtime. It’ll never be time to go home. No emails. No correspondence. No emergencies. No phone calls. She misses UniCorn.

UniCorn and Matt are on their way back from the bakery. He has his hands full of bread and cakes. UniCorn explains the difference between good carbs and bad carbs. Suddenly Spidey jumps out from the bushes.

Spidey: SURPRISE!
UniCorn: Oh!
Matt: *screaming like a girl and dropping the bags* AAAAH!
Spidey: *laughing* Dude that’s so not cool!
UniCorn: You scared us.
Matt: There goes your breakfast. Dude!
Spidey: No!
UniCorn: Serves you right for scaring us.

Matt & Spidey pick up the bags while UniCorn watches them.

UniCorn: Give me the keys.
Matt & Spidey don’t reply.
UniCorn: Hello, keys, please!
Matt: I don’t have the keys.
Spidey: Didn’t you bring keys yourself?
UniCorn: Look Sherlock, would I be asking if I did?
Spidey: I didn’t bring keys.
Silence
UniCorn: You are kidding.
Matt: Spidey, it’s not funny. I want some coffee now…
Spidey: I’m not joking.
UniCorn: Why did you leave the flat without keys?
Spidey: Why did you?
UniCorn: Because you were in the flat when we left. God!
Spidey: Well, you can call me Spidey…
Matt: Really shouldn’t joke right now.
UniCorn: I’m gonna pummel you to death!
Matt: EASY! I’m sure that we can find a way in.
UniCorn: *seething with anger*
Spidey: So…you’re a bit temperamental, aren’t you, Uni?
Matt: Spidey!

UniCorn stretches out her arms to throttle Spidey but Matt intervenes and stands between them

Matt: Look, we just need to focus and find a solution. Shouldn’t be a problem.
Silence

Ring ring ring
At last. A phone call. Something that demands action. She’s been staring out of the window for ten minutes.

FridayNext: Hello?
Matt: Hi Sweetie!
FridayNext: Matt? Hi. How are you?
Matt: I’m fine, darling. How are you?
FridayNext: Fine. I’m a bit busy here, honey.
Matt: Right. Sorry.
UniCorn: Hi Fri!
FridayNext: Uni? Is that you?
Matt: Give me the phone! Honey, I was wondering…
Spidey: Yo Fri. How’s it all hanging?
FridayNext: Well, gravity is surely pulling, if that’s what you mean, Spidey.
UniCorn: What did she say? I couldn’t hear.
Spidey: Something about gravity. I didn’t get it.
UniCorn: Give me the phone.
Matt: STOP IT. BOTH OF YOU! Fri, can you hear me?
FridayNext: Everybody at campus can hear you. What’s going on?
Matt: We went out and we can’t get in.
FridayNext: What?
UniCorn: *screaming next to Matt who’s holding on to the phone* Spidey locked us out!
FridayNext: What?
UniCorn & Spidey in a verbal row while Matt steps away from them.
Matt: We’re kind of locked out. And your mum has a spare key, right? So I thought that if you could just give me her number then I’d call her and ask her over…
FridayNext: Are you insane?
Matt: Or we could go to her place and pick up the key…
FridayNext: You are so not calling her!
Matt: Right. I just thought…
Spidey: Wait!
Matt: What?
FridayNext: Hello?
UniCorn: What now, Sherlock?
Spidey: I know how we can get in.
Matt: Sweetie, Spidey has found a way for us to get in. Sorry about all this.
FridayNext: Promise you won’t call my mum!
Matt: Promise. I’ll see you tonight! Love you.

Ring ring ring
FridayNext: Hello?
Caller: Hello, is this Ms FridayNext?
FridayNext: This is she.
Caller: I’m calling from the police station…
FridayNext: Oh?
Caller: We have arrested a man in orange clothes. He was…I know this sounds insane, but he was crawling up the tower block where you live, and he says that you can vouch for him. And his two friends.

In ten minutes she’s out of the door with a lame excuse such as “I forgot to switch off the iron” to TheBoss and she leaves her bike at the school and jumps on the train.

Matt: I’m sorry, Friday.
FridayNext: Don’t speak to me!
Spidey: We’re all sorry.
FridayNext: Don’t speak to me!
UniCorn: Awww, Fri. My best friend ever!
FridayNext: Don’t…
UniCorn: You need a group hug. Come here…
FridayNext: Don’t…
They all close in on FridayNext and squeeze her.
UniCorn: And did you check out that cute policeman at the desk?
FridayNext: Mmm…
UniCorn: He’s kinda dishy…
FridayNext: Mmm…
UniCorn: He reminded me of someone…
FridayNext: …with teeth…
UniCorn: …hands and eyes!
FridayNext: Yeah!
Matt: Thanks for making me feel repellent!
UniCorn: Awww, you need a hug!
FridayNext: From me!

UniCorn and Spidey look in disbelief as FridayNext hugs Matt who cannot believe what’s happening.

UniCorn: Oh! Wait a minute… I got an extra key to the flat.
Silence
UniCorn: And it’s right here in my bag…
Silence
UniCorn: Maaaaah haaaaah. I completely forgot…
Spidey: Oh Sherlock!
FridayNext: Well, at least you didn’t call my mum!
Matt: Ha ha, right. That would have been somethin’.

MumNextTextMessage: Hello Matt. I didn’t know Friday was seeing someone. I’d be happy to have lunch with you one day.