Conversation

Matt: Wake up!
Spidey: What the hell...
Matt: What is going on?
Spidey: What?
Matt: Something’s up.
Spidey: She was all bent out of shape last night. Wait…let me get some coffee first.
Matt: That can wait. What’s up?
Spidey: *sighing* Uni texted and said that I should sit through Brokeback Mountain with Fri so I did.
Matt: What is it with that film?!
Spidey: I don’t know but if I have to see two guys kiss and make out in a tent once more, I’m gonna puke, I tell ya’!
Matt: I hear you!
Spidey: Coffee…
Matt: Sorry.
Spidey: *gulping down half a cup of coffee* She acted all…weird. She was silent most of the evening. Where were you anyway?
Matt: Hanging out with ChessBoy. Silent?
Spidey: Unbelievable, I know, but true. How’s C?
Matt: Great. We should hang out with him more.
Spidey: Deal.
Matt: She stormed in at Uni’s and then they mumbled about something. I couldn’t hear.
Spidey: Sorry, bud. Can’t help you.
Matt: I know somebody who may know more…
Spidey: Can I have some breakfast first?

InBox: Hello?
Matt: Hi, it’s me.
InBox: Matt! How are you?
Matt: Fine, you?
InBox: Well…
Matt: I knew it!
InBox: Have you seen what happened on Sunday?
Matt: No…
InBox: Check this out…
Matt: WHAT!
InBox: I know!
Matt: So he emailed her from home.
InBox: That f*cking laptop!
Matt: But she didn’t see it until Monday.
InBox: I know – but then she went ballistic and wrote him a novel. Do you know how long it takes him to read all that crap?
Matt: She gushes over him writing her on a Sunday…
Spidey: What are we doing?
InBox: Who is that?
Matt: Spidey, meet InBox, InBox, this is Spidey.
InBox: Whose side are you on?
Spidey: Whoever cooks me breakfast!
Matt: He’s a beta version.
InBox: Riiiiiight!
Spidey: And you are?
InBox: The gateway.
Spidey: Your dude is creepily silent!
InBox: He’s dreamy, not creepy!
Spidey: Oh another one who’s into him. What are the odds. Must be torture, Matt.
Matt: Don’t go there.
InBox: Of course he left me in the darkness. I only know about the Sunday extravaganza because she replied to his Sunday mail on a work day.
Spidey: Let’s be fair to the man. It was entirely work related.
InBox & Matt in UniSon: Shut up!
Spidey: For fuck’s sakes! He’s just doing his job and apparently he’s too busy to do it all during regular office hours.
InBox: You don’t understand.
Spidey: Apparently not. How can you be so into somebody who’s obviously not into you?
Matt: Spidey, Fri has some wine gums hidden in the cupboard above the sink.
Spidey: Alright!
InBox: Is it mandatory that everybody in your household is insane?
Matt: He’s okay. He’s just a beta version.
InBox: Okay. But what do we do?
Matt: I don’t know. I have no power over her.
InBox: Let me see…Perhaps I can think outside the box…

InBox: Hi Honey.
J-Man: *deleting what he thinks is spam*
InBox: Sweetie, don’t do that.
J-Man: *frowning then deleting*
InBox: Please, it hurts to be trashed that easily.
J-Man: *sits up straight in his chair, clears his throat* Are you online?
Ace: Mmmm.
J-Man: Have you checked your mails today?
Ace: *looks at J-Man in surprise* Of course.
Silence
J-Man: I keep getting weird emails.
Ace: Just delete them.
J-Man: I do. But new ones appear.
Ace: Reboot.
Silence
J-Man: *sighing*
Ace: Busy?
J-Man: Yup.
InBox: Don’t erase me.
J-Man: I need a glass of water. Want anything?
Ace: Nope.
J-Man: *reboots, gets a glass of water then returns to his desk*
InBox: Don’t freak out, but I love you.
J-Man: We have worked all summer.
Ace: Mmmm.
Silence
J-Man: Looks like we’re gonna work all year without a break.
Ace: Mmmm.
InBox: Darling, come closer to the screen.
Silence
J-Man: I need a day off.
Ace: Now?
InBox: Don’t go, honey.
J-Man: Yup.
Ace: Okay.
J-Man: Okay?
Ace: Really. Okay.
J-Man: Okay.
Ace: Right.
InBox: For fuck’s sakes!