In the KITCHEN with...

Only one day behind schedule, we’re welcoming you into our kitchen…

UniCorn: *sulking* If you hadn’t burnt down my kitchen yesterday, we would have been on time.
FridayNext: I said I was sorry.

… and today we will give you some basic tricks on how to make a simple meal fabulous.

UniCorn: So we’re cooking together today.
FridayNext: Oh darrrrrling!
UniCorn: Enough with the sexual references. We’re in a clean kitchen. Well…cleanish. Have you ever mobbed the floor? Something feels sticky.
FridayNext: I’ve only lived here 5 months. It doesn’t need cleaning yet.
UniCorn: You’re a slob!
FridayNext: Do you want me to clean it right now?
UniCorn: Well….
FridayNext: *interrupting* The fire fighters were kinda cute…
UniCorn: Your libido is in overdrive. Can you hand me the groceries, please?
FridayNext: What are we cooking?
UniCorn: What do you like the most in the entire world?
FridayNext: J-Man! Or Ace! Or Jake. Oooooh, Jake! Jake indeed. But J-Man has teeth…
UniCorn: *sighing* Yeah, unlike Jake Gyllenhaal, J-Man has teeth. I’m putting you on mute for a bit. You’re all over the place!
FridayNext: On this sticky floor? Never.

In UniSon: EEEWWWW!

UniCorn: Now, groceries. Let’s see. I have…RICE.
FridayNext: Aaaahhhhh!
UniCorn: And…SOY SAUCE!
FridayNext: SUSHI SUSHI SUSHI!
UniCorn: No…
FridayNext: We’ll make sushi! A little bit of fish in my mouth, munch munch munch

UniCorn: We’re not making sushi!
FridayNext: Oh…
UniCorn: I’m exhausted. Are you usually this high maintenance?
FridayNext: Yes…
UniCorn: Pour me something to drink and then find a pot.
FridayNext: Are we drinking alcohol or just soda?
UniCorn: What time is it?
FridayNext: It’s probably late enough for a drink somewhere.
UniCorn: Mix me a Cosmo then.

FridayNext: Right. I must have forgotten to take that bartending course you wished for. I can pour you something straight up or…
UniCorn: Give me a soda!
FridayNext: *mumbling* Meeeeeow.
UniCorn: Sorry?
FridayNext: Here’s your soda and here’s the pot.
UniCorn: First we cook some rice.
FridayNext: Right. How much?
UniCorn: For two persons…
FridayNext: A couple of handfuls and add some water and on the stove and done.
UniCorn: You need to measure the rice and then the water, properly!
FridayNext: Why?
UniCorn: You’ll screw it up!
FridayNext: No…
UniCorn: Give me that! I’ll do it myself! Go and lay the table instead.

FridayNext: We’re sitting in the WestWing tonight.
UniCorn: Okay. Water’s boiling, and I’ve measured the rice. Pour it in and then…are you safe with a knife?
FridayNext: *snorting* Sure. What should I chop?
UniCorn: Veggies. I brought some the other day, so unless you’ve eaten them they’re still in the fridge.

SILENCE

In UniSon: HA HA HA HA!
FridayNext: Good one.
UniCorn: I know! You eating veggies on your own…what was I thinking!

FridayNext: Alright – chopping as if life depended on it.
UniCorn: The rice is almost done – great stove you've got. It only takes like seconds!
FridayNext: Yeah, brilliant, isn’t it?

UniCorn: I’ll just…
FridayNext: Should I help?
UniCorn: You need to get out of my way…
FridayNext: But if I can just reach across your right arm…
UniCorn: Don’t!
FridayNext: …then I can take…
UniCorn: NO!
FridayNext: Oh, you dropped half the rice on the floor.
UniCorn: NOOOOO!
FridayNext: Was that on purpose?
UniCorn: I’m gonna kill you!
FridayNext: But I just wanted to help you!
UniCorn: I told you not to.
FridayNext: Your voice is a bit shrill now.
UniCorn: YOU THINK?

SILENCE

FridayNext: I’ll get my VISA…
UniCorn: Good idea.
FridayNext: And then we’ll find a restaurant…
UniCorn: Great.
FridayNext: …and it’s on me...
UniCorn: You bet it is!
FridayNext: …and you can order as much as you wish.
UniCorn: Sounds great. Move!
FridayNext: Who’s doing the dishes?
UniCorn: Who do you think?
FridayNext: Oh.