It Wasn't Supposed to be ShareWare!

Of course she had to share that incident with the entire world. It’ll be on CNN next. The most embarrassing moment of my life. It’s like when you least expect stuff to happen – then along comes the greatest opportunity and you go…wauw, I’m so gonna pout and accidentally smack my lips into his. Because he’s so dreamy and have you seen those peepers of his? I was this close to having all my dreams come true – and her knees buckle. You need to hit the gym, honey, and stat!

UniCorn: Or you could lose a stone or five…
FridayNext, sucking in air: Huh?
UniCorn: Nothing

We’re close to breaking up. Perhaps we’re not ready to have a blog baby together. She sure didn’t warn me that she’d spill all our secrets on the blog.

Didn’t manage to snatch a comment from Mr Jillanhul...Gylenhol...Gyllunhil...SpiderMan. AH! Tobey Maguire Kirsten Dunst (aaoouuuuggghhhhh!) Thomas Haden Church (woouuuffff, in a very rugged way, although he could have used some lip salve in Spidey 3, maaah haaah), let’s stick to Mr Jake. No offence, but a surname like that should come with a manual and I say this in the sweetest possible way, hon.

And wouldn’t it just be utterly great if life came with a script? You fall in love with a co-worker and you turn to p. 57 and you see that you’re out on a date and this is what happens:

FridayNext: I just love sushi, don’t you?
J-Man: What?
FridayNext: Sushi. It’s delicious, don’t you think?
J-Man: Who are you?
FridayNext, losing my patience: One of your colleagues. You haven’t touched your sushi, don’t you like it?
J-Man: I’m a bit in the darkness here. What’s going on?

Now, for those of you who don’t know J-Man*, this is actually the longest conversation he’s had in years. At least with me. He kicks ass with his mac and he’s…well, his teeth…god, he’s got great teeth, have a thing about teeth…and his hands…

J-Man: Can I go now?
FridayNext: What? You haven’t touched your food. Do you have any idea what this costs?

J-Man stares at me, completely blank and he doesn’t look too happy
So I sigh and rummage through my handbag and find the script.

FridayNext: Page 57. It says here that we’re out on our first date, we’re having sushi and you’re falling for me while I get you drunk on sake…wait a minute! You only fall for me because you’re drunk?!
J-Man: Page 57 is missing in my script and on p. 58 I’m spending the entire weekend with my young and beautiful girlfriend of 5 years, and we have sex in all the rooms of our big house and we don’t eat fish and please, can I go now?

And the best thing about this scenario is that you get to see this particular co-worker e-v-e-r-y day and e-v-e-r-y day you’re reminded that ouch, he’s so not into you.

But it’s okay. You managed to keep your friends entertained for a couple of weeks...er...months because you couldn’t stop talking about his peepers, teeth, hands...

Suddenly the Mr Gyllenhaal incident doesn’t seem too embarrassing.

This post proves the fact that you need more than 4 hours of sleep a night to keep a straight head. At least if you're FridayNext...Cheers.

*J-Man is not in any way related to Mr Gyllenhaal. Well, as far as we know.